Scars
by Lady Neeko
Summary: Jane still keeps her hands hidden from the world, but you can't hide anything from children.


**Title: **_Scars_

**Pairing:** _Rizzles, don't like, don't read._  
><strong>Rating:<strong> _T_  
><strong>Disclaimer<strong>: _All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual._

**Summary:** Jane still keeps her hands hidden from the world, but you can't hide anything from children.

**Author's Note: **_Thought I'd focus some on Jane with the kiddos.  
><em>

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><p>Jane Rizzoli did not like people touching her hands.<p>

Matter of fact, she didn't like anyone looking at them, being too close to them, discussing them, breathing near them...

Jane Rizzoli did not like her hands. And she could count the amount of people she let touch them on one hand. Literally.

It was around the time that she actually realized Maura was allowed to touch her hands that Jane discovered it wasn't just a regular friendship between the two. It was actually her mother who pointed it out, when she went to reach for Jane's hands one day to complain about her dirty fingernails.

_"Ma! Stop. Their fine. Don't touch me." _

_"I'm going to start to take offense that you won't let your own mother touch your hands!" _

_"Seriously, ma? I'm a grown woman. I don't like anyone touching my hands." _

_"You let Maura!" _

It was like being hit in the head by a two by four. She trusted Maura with her hands, and to Jane, that meant she trust her with everything. Even so, even after declaring their love for each other and embarking on something much bigger than they ever thought they would with their relationship, Jane still kept her hands hidden from the world. She quickly learned that you can't hide anything from children.

Vinny was five the first time his small hand lingered in hers longer than she expected.

She had quickly adapted to the fact that her son was going to have to be an exception to the "no hand touching" rule, especially when he started walking, and she had to hold his hand to keep him from running away. He was constantly moving from the time he left Maura's womb, and the only reason Jane never focused on the fact that he was touching her hands when they held his tight was because he let go almost as soon as she let him. He never liked to be coddled.

But when he was five, Jane had the day off during one of his doctors appointments, though Maura was usually the one to go, and after getting a series of shots, he held her hand tightly in his as he cried. When he finished crying, his attention went straight to her scars. _"You have a boo boo, too, mama?" _

He hadn't brought it up since, and she wondered, with him already twelve, if he knew more than he let on.

Sammy Jo, the most curious of all their children, noticed herself at a younger age. She was four, and looked up at Jane with her head tilted, her lips pursed, before saying, _"Mama, do your hands hurt?" _Jane struggled through an explanation of "yes, they do hurt sometimes, no, it's not that bad", before Maura entered and explained to her daughter what chronic pain was, and that her ma was perfectly healthy and okay.

Sammy Jo also never mentioned it since, though Jane knew her eight year old most likely had done her research since. She was much too much like her mother, her big brain needing to be filled with everything she can fill it with.

Her youngest daughter barely bat an eye about it, though that was just how Regina dealt with almost anything. She damn near gave Maura a heart attack daily, insisting to be a rowdy little thing, scraping her hands and knees and bleeding on the carpet more times than any one of them really wanted to count. Regina knew how to play hard, and their tough little girl never cried over anything.

So when Maura went into a fit the last time she fell off the monkey bars (that were much too high for a six year old to begin with), concerned with the fact that the cut on her knee would most likely scar, Regina just shrugged it off. _"Mama has scars, too, you know." _And that was that.

But Michael, just like the other three, was a completely different child than the rest.

It was a hot day in July, even more so for Jane, who had her youngest child sat in her lap, and one sitting a little too close next to her, as they watched Vinny's little league game, coached by Uncle Frankie. Maura already had to take Regina to the playground, her interest in sitting around watching her brother's game at about zero to begin with, leaving Jane with Mikey, who was too tired to care about his brother's game, and Sammy Jo, who was too caught up in reading her newest book.

At least she had one child who could share her love of sports.

"Mikey, how about you sit next to me, huh? I'm sweating like crazy here," Jane said, trying to push the three-year-old off of her.

This only prompted him to hold on even tighter. Jane sighed, she could only really blame this on herself. For some reason, she wanted at least one child who wanted to cuddle, and lo and behold, she got the snuggle king. "I read about separation anxiety the other day. I wonder if Mikey will suffer from that when they have to detach him from your body."

"Thanks, Sam, I've got it covered," Jane said, taking Mikey's hands in hers as she attempted to pry him off. "Come on, Mike, please, buddy? Your ma is literally sweating to death here."

Mikey stopped fidgeting once her hands were in his, and he began tracing her scars. She froze. "Mama? What's that?"

Next to her, she could tell Sammy Jo had stopped reading to eavesdrop. One of the rules of being a good parent? Knowing when your kid was reading, and when she was faking it to pretend she wasn't listening to anything else. "Scars, buddy."

"What from?"

She went through three kids without actually having to have this conversation. She was so close.

"I got cut," she replied. She figured she could lie, but she didn't really want to do that. Not that she wanted to tell him the truth, either. She'd just be vague as possible, instead. "Like when Reggie falls down and scratches herself."

"Did you fall down, mama?"

Jane looked over towards the playground to try to signal over to Maura for help. No such luck. Regina was running around like a bat out of hell, and Maura was doing her best to keep up with her. She looked over at the scoreboard to the game, hoping maybe it would be over soon. No luck, again. Only the third inning.

"Uh, no, I..."

He looked up at her with his big brown eyes. "What happened, mama?"

"A bad guy hurt mama," Sammy Jo spoke up quietly. "But he's in jail now, so it's okay. Mama put him there."

Jane looked over at her daughter, who kept her eyes on the book in front of her. So Sammy Jo did do her research, but it only made Mikey hold on tighter, wrapping his arms around her neck and burying his face in her hair. "No one will hurt you again, mama."

"No, Mikey. I'm fine."

"Mama, I won't let them."

She could nearly cry in the middle of the park surrounded by other families on the bleachers he had such conviction in his voice.

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><p>"So, Sammy Jo knows about Hoyt apparently," Jane spoke up as she plopped down into bed after all the children were finally asleep, and the day could be officially over. "Of course Mikey had to ask me twenty questions about my hands. He'd do well in an interrogation. I tried to deflect. Sammy Jo just laid it out flat."<p>

Maura briefly looked up from her newest copy of _Vogue_ before returning to the article. "I'm aware."

"I mean, she didn't start talking details, and I wasn't about to ask her how much she did know, but... wait, what?" Jane asked, confused. "You're aware?"

This prompted Maura to put down the magazine. "Jane, Sammy Jo is eight, and overly inquisitive. Did you honestly think she wouldn't know by now?"

"You told her?"

"She looked it up on her own, but then came to me about it. I can't lie, not that I think you would want me to," Maura explained. "I didn't know if you'd want to know that they know."

"That was a confusing sentence," she went for humor. "But, I don't know. And, wait, they? Who else knows?"

"Vinny. He didn't do any of his own research, he asked me. He enjoys being at the precinct so much, he was bound to overhear something eventually, Jane. After Sammy Jo, though."

"And Regina? Did you two have a pow wow about me, as well?"

"Oh, Jane, come on," Maura began. "You don't like to talk about it. You barely talk to me about it, and it's been so long since his name really came up in this house. You haven't had a nightmare in so long, and I just didn't know how to bring it up. So I gave them the appropriate amount of information based upon their age and how much they wanted to know, and figured I would leave it at that. But if that was a serious question, no. Regina hasn't asked."

Jane didn't say anything for a good moment. "Should I talk to them about it?"

"I think that they are still very young, Jane. They are curious, but that's all. They aren't at an age where they can really... understand... everything yet. But eventually, yes. I think they'll want to hear it from you," Maura told her. "But I don't want it stirring up old feelings when you do. You're safe. I'm safe. Our beautiful children are safe. I don't want Hoyt's memory making you think otherwise. He's had you long enough."

Jane looked at her hands. "I just wanted to shelter them from all the bad in the world, you know? But I've done a shit job of it so far."

Maura took Jane's hands in her own, kissed them both, before getting Jane to look her in the eyes. "You've done nothing of the sort. We have four very healthy children, with very brilliant minds and unique personalities who are loved and who love just as hard right back. They are more amazing then I ever could have imagined. And, Jane, they not only _are_ safe, but they _feel_ safe. Just as I do. Because we're with you."

"It's not just Hoyt, though, Maura. Don't you want to keep them safe from everything?" Jane asked. "I want... I want Vinny to stay the strong-willed kid he's always been, and not ever have anyone take that away from him. I want Sammy Jo to not get picked on at school. I want Regina to stay the hell still for half a minute so she doesn't get hurt for once in her life. And I want Mikey to stay my little cuddle bug forever, and not have to answer his questions about how evil the world can be. Is that so much to ask?"

"They'll all grow up eventually, Jane," Maura said. "And they'll get hurt. They'll get their hearts broken. They'll get both physical and emotional scars."

"That's not exactly what I want to hear right now."

"But they'll always have us to come home to. And we'll keep them safe however we can."

"What if that's not enough?"

"Then you're just as stubborn as Regina when you tell her not to get grass stains on her clothes, and I have nothing else to say."

Jane laughed, pulling her wife in closer to her. "Having kids made me soft. I care a lot more now than I ever did."

"About what?"

"Everything. It was easier when I only had to worry about myself. But then I had to go and worry about you, too, and four kids later, here we are."

Maura smiled. "Here we are."

"Ma!" The terrified yell followed by the little patter of feet had both women turning their head towards their bedroom door. Before they knew it, their youngest was catapulting himself between them in the bed, burying his face in Jane's pillow.

"Something wrong, Mikey?"

"He came to get you!"

"Who came to get your ma, Michael?" Maura asked, but Jane didn't need any confirmation.

"Buddy, no one is going to hurt me, okay?" Jane answered. "No one is going to hurt anyone in this family, so long as I have my way."

"But if it makes you feel better, Michael, I'm here to protect your mama all night. No one will touch her so long as I'm here. I promise," Maura said with a smile in Jane's direction.

Mikey looked at her skeptically, and deliberately flopped his arm across Jane's stomach. "I'm touching her, mommy."

"Oh my God, these kids inheriting your sarcasm is going to be the death of me," Maura exclaimed. "I might just have to toss you right out of this bed then, little one."

"Or maybe we'll have to tickle him as punishment instead?" Jane suggested.

The last sounds heard in the Rizzoli-Isles household that night were Mikey's giggles before everyone went to bed.

Safe and sound.


End file.
